dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
