Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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