I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Farmville is her only friend.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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