we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
