It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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