I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
