hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
