This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
