butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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