YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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