Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize