Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize