I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
