Its about making memories worth repressing
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
