Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
