A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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