Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just google imaged poop.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
