If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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