please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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