Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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