You work out of a Hotel?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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