Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
