so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize