yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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