they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
