Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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