that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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