Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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