I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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