Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
