we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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