still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize