my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
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