My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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