I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize