Can i not drive my cunt home
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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