five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize