Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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