u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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