I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
