Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
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