I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
