i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
