I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
