I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
