some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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