the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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