I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
