She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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