Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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