Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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