summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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