i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
